Brief Manuscript Synopsis
Joyce Dodge keeps things basic: guns are a girl’s best friend, chocolate is sacred, and men are a pain in the ass. Then she meets an enigma, Julian: He’s great eye candy. The problem is, Julian is also a four thousand year old dragon hunting demons. With the help of a quirky wizard with a dark past, Joyce must fight to retake a corrupt city, kill a demon vampire, and save the dragon she might be falling in love with.
About the Manuscript
Dodging Demons is an Urban Fantasy, set in present-day Los Angeles. The story unfolds from Joyce Dodge’s feisty point of view, as she is thrown into a supernatural world. Dodging Demons is a fast-paced and original story filled with memorable characters, witty dialog, and chills. It’s a dash of Men in Black, a sprinkle of Underworld and a whole lot of fantasy.
I read 10 pages and had to go do something (tai chi)… now how the heck do I get back to it? I’m hooked! What is going on in that graveyard???? You better have the whole book available soon!
ok, I got back on and read up to page 20… now how do I get the rest? And the answer better not be wait until you find a publisher… Oh, and where exactly is the curiosity bone? Cause you got mine!
Geoff – I’m really glad you enjoyed reading the excerpt. As far as reading more goes… Well, bribery never hurts.
Oh that was really good. I’m so hooked.
The visual of her sitting up in bed, the Sig comfortably in her hands, saying somebody needed killing; that was a great hook. You did an excellent job putting in the characters physical descriptions without it feeling awkward or like an info dump.
Your characters are so vivid, so alive. I liked how she goes from angry and put out to totally curious with his “go home” order, and the fact he has a key to the graveyard. If she would have driven away, I would have stopped reading right there. That was another excellently timed hook.
The character and plot building was amazing in this chapter. Little tidbits, expertly dropped in, timely. Her backstory is appropriately timed and short enough not to distract from the action. Julian is definitely an enigma; and an intriguing character you want to get to know because of her descriptions. Adding her trick knee and his amnesia feels like not only character building for internal conflict, but also a plot point to be resolved as the story unfolds.
You write first person very well. The voice and tone is engaging. I like her sarcasm and practicality mix. Her perceptions of the three teens and Julian, and even the city she drives through put me in the surroundings, made me feel a part of the story and action. Nicely paced too. I’m usually a slow reader, but I was through these first 20 pages in short order because the flow was so smooth. Definitely a book I’ll buy. I can see myself dropping everything on a long weekend to immerse myself into this world.
I don’t know if it’s happened for others, but page 16 never loaded. It was blank, and I couldn’t even pull it up from the thumbnails. Just thought you might want to know.
……………dhole
Wow! Thank you, Donna for this great analysis. I really appreciate your feedback. Some of your insights are spot-on!
You write first person very well. The voice and tone is engaging. I like her sarcasm and practicality mix. Her perceptions of the three teens and Julian, and even the city she drives through put me in the surroundings, made me feel a part of the story and action. Nicely paced too. I’m usually a slow reader, but I was through these first 20 pages in short order because the flow was so smooth. Definitely a book I’ll buy. I can see myself dropping everything on a long weekend to immerse myself into this world.
+1
I really liked what I read. Didn’t get to finish, but definitely will do so later on today. Keep it up
even the little bit I read makes me want to read the whole book.
Mp
Thank you for the kind words. Hopefully the book will get accepted for publishing, then you’ll get to read the entire story. I’m also about 16,000 words into the second Joyce Dodge manuscript.